The Masks We Hide Behind
When Executive Order 63 was enacted here in the Commonwealth of Virginia at the end of May as part of the plan to begin opening back up after all of the pandemic craziness, there was a section I was extremely ticked off about. It was the part that made wearing a mask mandatory inside any public building for the indefinite future. Never mind the fact that wearing a mask had not been mandatory during the previous three months of the pandemic shutdown. Never mind the fact that research has shown that the masks everyone is wearing do nothing to prevent catching or spreading the COVID-19 virus. Never mind the fact that wearing a mask for extended periods of time causes all sorts of other health issues and decreases oxygen intake. Now, I’m not here to get in a debate over the whole issue of wearing a mask or not wearing a mask. It’s your preference. What I was most upset about was the fact that my choice of not wearing one or wearing one was taken away and non-compliance would be considered a criminal offense. If I was going to be “forced” to wear one so as to not jeopardize my job or my boss’s licensing credentials, then I would do so out of respect for him and his business. But in my heart, I knew I needed a serious attitude adjustment.
After the announcement that made mask wearing mandatory, I went ahead and made a few for work so that I at least had a clean one for each day. I picked out some pretty material and spent the weekend sewing. I figured that if I had to comply with the order, I might as well try and make the best of it. All too quickly, the first Monday of June rolled around and onto my face the mask went. At first, it wasn’t too bad. I can do this, I thought. But as the day wore on, the more irritating the mask became. It was hot and scratchy against my face. It was uncomfortable. It made it hard to take in a deep breath and I could tell as the day wore on, my oxygen intake was definitely less. I would hit a mental wall at about 3 PM and my brain felt like it was going into shutdown mode. I couldn’t think straight and I started to breathe heavily in a futile attempt to get more oxygen. It got worse as the week went on. Every afternoon, I hit that mental wall and couldn’t think straight. Trying to write down a note, I realized I had jumbled up the letters of a word and switched their positions. I would get dizzy, the back of my head pounding, tunnel vision threatening the edges of my peripheral view. Being unable to get a deep breath with the fabric across my face, I have also noticed that I end up breathing shallowly or holding my breath without realizing it for several moments. I have to remind myself to breathe, something that is supposed to be a subconscious function of living.
My heart attitude adjustment is still a work in progress and will probably be so as long as this mandate is in place. But it got me thinking. What other masks do we hide behind? How often do we look at other people’s “masks” and think ours is cooler or more unique? How often do we put on the façade that everything is fine, but in reality, it is not? Sometimes we wear our masks like they’re a badge of honor or our identity. Masks of insecurity, rejection, hurt, fear, self-hatred, worry, anger, and frustration, to name a few. We hide behind our masks because as uncomfortable as they are, it’s easier than being vulnerable enough to expose our true selves. Hiding can seem easier than being authentic and living in the truth of who we are created to be. But if we have the courage to rip the masks off and be real, the freedom that comes out of that is worth it; the freedom to be genuine in relationships, the freedom to tell ourselves the truth instead of hiding behind the lies we seem so eager to believe, and the freedom to grow and flourish instead of staying stagnant. It’s time to quit hiding behind our masks. Be real. Be genuine. Cherish the people around you. Don’t be afraid to grow and take risks. Enjoy life. Be happy. And choose to be grateful, no matter the circumstances.
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